I was reading a book by Rabbi Daniel Lapin where he points out that a study done in the U.S. found that the group of individuals in our society that has the greatest sense of self worth are murderers.
In another study, Roy Baumeister found that the following groups of individuals have very high self esteem.
- Racists
- Murderers
- Rapist
- “D” Students
According to Baumeister, “these individuals consciously believe they are superior, not inferior” to others around them.
Obviously, you have to consider yourself very important to take someone’s life for your own personal gain or use their body for your sexual desires without their consent.
So, what is my point…
Maybe we should focus on teaching our kids to esteem others above themselves. We live in a very selfish society where people are told statements like, “just do what feels good”, and “be true to yourself”. If we are not teaching them to esteem others, what values are they learning?
The answer isn’t to degrade our children until they think poorly of themselves. Taking Jr. to the wood shed, beating him senseless, and carving holes in his soul with your words will do little to help him “esteem” others.
Creating an environment where Jr. is encouraged and praised for acts of kindness and is demonstrated unconditional love will help him grow into a man that sees his value, and highly values others.
“Love your neighbor as you love yourself” -Jesus (Mark 12)